If you’ve ever felt like you’re failing, then this video is for you.
We’ll explore the psychological truths behind why starting over feels so hard and why it’s actually a sign of growth, not failure.
🧠 What We Explore:
✔ Why starting over activates identity fear and resistance
✔ What Erikson, Beck and McAdams say about life transitions
✔ How self-compassion and narrative identity help us move forward
📚 Psychology Sources Referenced:
Carl Rogers on unconditional positive regard
Erik Erikson on ego identity
Carol Dweck on growth mindset
Daniel McAdams on narrative identity
Norman Doidge on neuroplasticity
Albert Bandura on self-efficacy
Leon Festinger on cognitive dissonance and social comparison
Samuelson & Zeckhauser on status quo bias
Clance & Imes on impostor phenomenon
Arkes & Blumer on sunk cost fallacy
(Full citations at the end of this description).
📌 Subscribe for more:
🔔 Subscribe: https://www.youtube.com/@jasminehomden
📚 Book Recommendations.
(By actual psychologists + grounded in research)
1. The Body Keeps the Score
Author: Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.
Why: Explores how trauma is stored in the body and brain. Beautifully readable and deeply healing.
Themes: Trauma, nervous system, healing
Great for: emotional patterns, survival behaviours or self-protection.
🔗https://amzn.to/4motSVf
2. Self-Compassion
Author: Dr. Kristin Neff
Why: The go-to book for understanding and building a softer inner voice. Research-backed but deeply human.
Themes: Inner critic, shame, emotional regulation
Great for: breaking patterns, rebuilding self-worth and quieting perfectionism.
🔗https://amzn.to/4jdxXbU
3. On Becoming a Person
Author: Carl Rogers
Why: A foundational text in humanistic psychology. Empowers readers to embrace who they are with unconditional acceptance.
Themes: Authenticity, self-concept, personal growth
Great for: inner identity, belonging or “coming home to yourself.”
🔗https://amzn.to/45phvC2
4. Attached
Authors: Amir Levine & Rachel Heller
Why: Offers a clear, psychologist-led explanation of attachment styles in adult relationships. Incredibly accessible.
Themes: Love, fear of intimacy, emotional availability
🔗 Great for: relationships, emotional cycles or why we keep choosing the same types.
🔗https://amzn.to/4j8t7N1
5. The Happiness Trap
Author: Dr. Russ Harris (based on ACT—Acceptance & Commitment Therapy)
Why: Explains why chasing happiness often makes us feel worse—and what to do instead.
Themes: Avoidance, mindfulness, emotional flexibility
Great for: challenging toxic positivity, shame and forced productivity.
🔗https://amzn.to/3ZrUNp7
🌿 Gentle Reminder:
Disclaimer: This video is for educational and informational purposes only.
I’m not a licensed psychologist or therapist. Just a psychology student sharing research and ideas that have helped me and might help you, too.
If you’re struggling with your mental health or need personal support, please reach out to a qualified mental health professional. You don’t have to figure it all out alone 💛
📖 References Used in This Video:
Arkes, H. R. & Blumer, C. (1985) ‘The psychology of sunk cost’, Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, 35(1), pp. 124–140.
ScienceDirect link (abstract) 
Bandura, A. (1977) ‘Self‑efficacy: Toward a unifying theory of behavioral change’, Psychological Review, 84(2), pp. 191–215. DOI: 10.1037/0033‑295X.84.2.191 
Beck, A. T. (1976) Cognitive Therapy and the Emotional Disorders. New York: International Universities Press.
Clance, P. R. & Imes, S. A. (1978) ‘The impostor phenomenon in high achieving women: Dynamics and therapeutic intervention’, Psychotherapy: Theory, Research and Practice, 15(3), pp. 241–247. DOI: 10.1037/h0086006 
Doidge, N. (2007) The Brain That Changes Itself. New York: Viking.
Dweck, C. S. (2006) Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. New York: Random House.
Erikson, E. H. (1959) Identity and the Life Cycle. New York: International Universities Press.
Festinger, L. (1954) ‘A theory of social comparison processes’, Human Relations, 7(2), pp. 117–140.
Festinger, L. (1957) A Theory of Cognitive Dissonance. Stanford, CA: Stanford University Press.
McAdams, D. P. (1993) The Stories We Live By: Personal Myths and the Making of the Self. New York: Guilford Press.
Rogers, C. R. (1959) On Becoming a Person. Boston: Houghton Mifflin.
Samuelson, W. & Zeckhauser, R. (1988) ‘Status quo bias in decision making’, Journal of Risk and Uncertainty, 1(1), pp. 7–59.
(Links used are affiliate).
#psychology #starting #motivation
WACOCA: People, Life, Style.