luna HATES guilty gear strive dual rulers – relaxing ASMR for binaural sleeping

luna HATES guilty gear strive dual rulers – relaxing ASMR for binaural sleeping

Bolatro, Balatro, Balala, Bala, Bala, whatever you want to call it. Uh, what kind of deck am I feeling today? I had a lot of failures on the on the on the black deck, which is like, how the [ __ ] do you fail on the black deck, like red stick, but I guess it just happened. That’s just what we [ __ ] dealt with. Um, that’s an interesting start. Let’s try to get a a full house with that. All right, that’s a full house. I should have skipped, but I’m not that worried about it. Why are you playing the first thing? It’s like I don’t It’s Who cares? You know, we’ll get like a dollar from it. One hand remaining. Luna, what do you think of the Guilty Gear Dual Rulers anime? That’s a really good question. I just I just watched episode five, right? That’s that’s a really big bummer right there. So, I just watched episode 5. Um, and it’s an it’s an 8 episode anime. So, by the time you’re in like episode 5, it’s kind of a big deal. And to me, it’s just a just a ridiculous it’s it’s ridiculous. It doesn’t make any sense. It’s like, okay, the people who who are making the anime clearly do not know anything about Guilty Gear. And it’s it’s really unbelievable cuz like clearly Dice did not work on it. And I’ve been saying that since like Guilty Gear Strive like I’ve been saying that like like season two of Strive. Dice is like barely working on it. Like he composes the music, right? We agree. He makes the music. He’ll like design a character and sometimes they’ll get through if if the shareholders allow it and then he’ll like pick whose DLC maybe he’ll do like uh polls on who the DLC should be or whatever, right? And that’s kind of like what’s interesting is that like I don’t think Dais has the control that he should have over his IP, which is the reason why it was popular was because of him. But the anime is just painfully like average and boring. The the emotions you feel during the episodes are I guess that’s fine too. That’s kind of stupid to whatever. And sometimes what are they thinking? I I there’s a real core problem. I wanted to wait until finished to have this this rant, but there’s a real core problem in episode 5 that just kind of like proves everything right. one. But but no, let’s let’s go back. Like episode one is just a recap of the lore and the world building and like what Gears are and who Justice was and like what the Crusades were and who Soul Bad Guy is and who Kai is and who Dizzy is and who the characters are. Whatever. That’s fine. I guess it’s not interesting. It’s not a fun episode and it’s not really captivating in any meaningful way cuz it’s just exposition and lord dumping in the most boring way. It’s just a a voice over narration which is really boring. So that’s a terrible episode one. Um and then we get to a and then we get to a point where we’re looking at it like it it’s just nothing like so so Unica is just like uh she shows up and she’s like I’m a terrorist. I’m going to do bad things cuz I saw the future and the gears do bad things cuz I’m I saw the future. She’s from the future but she doesn’t say I’m from the future. She says I could see the future and the gears are bad guys and I’m going to do bad things and everyone goes wow that crazy Unica and Sin’s like I’ll be I’ll try to connect with her and it’s like cool. Um but like throughout the show it’s like the half the characters just don’t even make sense. Like I don’t know why Bikin’s around just besides the fact that she has big boobs. Johnny’s just around cuz people like Johnny and he’s cool but he doesn’t really do anything. Uh Ram with shows up and all she does is like babysit an impenetrable barrier that was made by Kai to protect him and Dizzy when Duna attacked Dizzy. Um, and Dizzy was about to do some like necro [ __ ] and blow everything up. And Kai was like, “I’ll use the thunder seal to make an impenetrable invincible seal that can never be broken no matter what.” So Ramlthal, one of the strongest characters, is like, “I need to babysit this and do nothing the whole show.” Okay, whatever. So Kai and Dizzy are written out in the first half of episode 1. Like they’re just not even in the rest of the anime. Um, and then Ram’s also just written out. didn’t even need to be written in, but she’s written out in the same way. Lelt shows up, and we all know Elfelt’s like the like room temp IQ, like slams her head into the ground, gives herself brain damage, girl failure. She analyzes complex boweapons and uses her detective and like intuition, like her her her skills of deduction, detective work and intuition to figure out the the bad guys plans and any traps that are laying ahead for her and and the and the other characters. So, she’ll like sit on a desk full of like books and science and have a bunch of screens open and be like, “Hold on, I’m analyzing the this bioweapon that was used here. I’m I’m I’m almost done figuring out how it works.” And she’s reporting all of this to to Jacko, who is a scientist who does not really fight people like ever until the anime. um who is on the ground getting in gunfights and is a soldier essentially is is like a special forces like soldier getting into fights when Elfelt is the one who like has a gun and fights people. Um and Jacko’s the scientist. So I don’t know why those characters got like flipped in the writing room. And this is what I mean uh with my theory of they wrote a bunch of blank characters as in like this character should do this. We’ll have a character who does this and we’ll have a character who does this. And then they said, “All right, who’s popular?” Okay, Elfeld. Uh she can be the scientist. I don’t know. Uh Leo White Fang, he’s important. Yeah, he can be the guy who calls the president every episode on the phone for some reason. I don’t know. And I mean, that one like kind of makes sense, I guess. Uh, who’s cool? Ramble’s alpha sister. Uh, I don’t know if she’s as popular, so let’s just have her babysit the barrier. Um, Jacko’s cool. She can fight people, I guess. What does she have as a weapon? Like, oh, like widow [ __ ] like like minions and and candy. I we can work with it. Just give her a gun or something. I don’t know. Um, and it just like it’s like what the [ __ ] is happening? Like none of these characters makes it like a Johnny can be cool. He’ll just show up and fight guys and Bikin will show up and fight guys for no reason. And then Bridget’s in it. Uh but she’s actually important by the way. You know, Bridget, a character who’s had no lore relevance or plot relevance um since she was made like 20 years ago. She’s had zero involvement in any main story or any even side story. She’s not a character. She’s just cute. the any information on Bridget is like trivia and that’s like all she is cuz she’s just not a [ __ ] important character. Like I don’t know what to say. She’s just not an important character. I don’t know what to tell you. And it’s just that’s a really big [ __ ] bummer that she’s like an important main character. It’s not a bummer. It’s just like I would be okay with it if it wasn’t like obviously just to sell merchandise, right? Which is what it’s for. And we and we all kind of know that’s exactly why she’s like in the anime is just to sell merchandise. But anyway, so none of the characters really make any sense and like what role they play in the oh [ __ ] in the um in the anime. Like it just doesn’t make any logical sense. Um there’s like some cool fights. Uh it’s a bummer. There’s some like cool fights between uh like like some things like soul bad guy like before his first fight is like making like a a gadget and and he’s like and sin’s like what are you this is important by the way. I need you to remember this. This is actually important. Uh Sin says some [ __ ] that he should know already. And Soul’s like no don’t worry. I I just lost the flame of corruption. I’m still, you know, stronger than you cuz I’m a [ __ ] gear. And he makes like a he just makes some toys and then he gets into a fight and he throws like a bunch of grenades and like has this like punchy fist that malfunctions and he’s like, “Oh, that sucks.” And he throws it and he has a cool like hype aura moment where he pulls out the his actual [ __ ] weapon for one scene and it’s a really cool frame. I can give it that. But anyway, yeah, it’s like, yeah, no, Soul Bad Guy is still like the strongest guy. He just doesn’t have the flame of corruption anymore. He’s still a gear. Anyway, moving on. Like Sin and Unica fight a couple times and Unika’s like, I can see the future every the gears are bad. And Sin goes, I asked you how your [ __ ] day was. Okay. Jesus Christ. She’s like a person who goes into McDonald’s like, “Hey, how are you doing today? Diet Coke.” Like, “Okay, [ __ ] I see her on a [ __ ] game plan here.” So they fight a couple times and then eventually like Unica’s about to like really like hurt uh Sin this time. So Soul Bad Guy pulls out a Mosen Nagant and shoots her with a bullet from a gun and she has this like magic electromagnetic barrier and Soul Bad Guy says to himself, “Yeah, that’s a bullet from a gun. You cannot use your barrier to guard this kid. Parry this you casual.” and [ __ ] shoots her with a 7.62 to a round and then like Sin like jumps after like accidentally like activates like a command gear thing and like they they both like land safely. Um so Sin just accidentally used like a command gear power which is the the [ __ ] Justice had. Uh I can talk about Justice later. I want to get through the anime before I get into just the lore rant. So, we can talk about Justice later, but like basically um he can control gears cuz he’s a commander type gear. That’s all you need to know and that’s just how it is cuz that’s how gears work. Um so, Unica just [ __ ] off despite like getting shot and falling off a building and like whatever. She just disappears in like a second, I guess. I don’t know. And she wanders down a back alley and then collapses and then [ __ ] Bridget of all [ __ ] characters in the world, collects her, like scoops her up in her arms, undresses her, stitches her clothes, she wakes up, feeds her soup, and says and says like some [ __ ] to her, and they have like a really like awkward conversation cuz Unica is like, “I’m going to [ __ ] kill everyone, and when I’m feeling better, I’m going to kill you.” And she goes, “Okay.” And then like later they sleep and then Unika walks out and sees Bridget taking a bath and it’s like a 30se secondond [ __ ] scene where Unica just stares at her. Bridget like notices, turns around, covers her chest and waves. And Udica like stares, looks down, stares. Her eyes do like the the wavering like like that thing. And then [ __ ] and then basically like she’s just like maybe it is worth it to live. And then she starts getting second thoughts about everything. She has this key that she just has this McGuffin that she got from an earlier episode that is going to activate like a like a satellite laser that blows up [ __ ] Ayria or whatever, which by the way, like earlier, landed directly on Elfelt’s head as a test fire and glassed the entire [ __ ] area. Um, and and everyone like Jacko and [ __ ] a bunch of other characters like we lost contact with. really worried about her cuz she was on her like detective work [ __ ] looking for clues and getting like a field of research samples for science that she does now I guess. Um and then Sin gets word of it and it’s like holy [ __ ] I don’t think Elfeld could even survive that. And Soul Bad Guy is like uh she’s got a pretty thick skull. She’ll be fine. And then it [ __ ] cuts to Lfelt like like just being completely fine cuz her head is so thick because she’s so stupid that her like it like like me when I give you a braing amoeba. Oh, it only affects your brain so you’re completely fine is the joke. And then she’s like, “All right, it’s a good thing my rock solid [ __ ] bone head protected me from this goddamn super mega death laser. Now I can go research the [ __ ] like samples I got on this boweapon to understand its complex functions and then figure out the enemy’s plan using this H. Okay, pick a [ __ ] lane. Like come on. What the [ __ ] are we talking about? Pick a lane. What the hell? Jesus Christ. Like are we serious about this? Anyway, because [ __ ] Unica saw Bridget’s like naked [ __ ] body, she’s like, I don’t want to kill a bunch of people for no reason anymore. And that’s the end of episode 4. Um, and like Paradigm shows up in episode 4 as well to talk to Sin about being like the king of gears or whatever cuz he’s a command type gear. And then he’s like, we can like go to Sin, you have options. You can like make us all kill ourselves or use all of us to make a portal to go to a different dimension where Gears never existed, which is how they’re going to bring like Lucy in or some [ __ ] Or we can like just take overtake the [ __ ] humanity. Sin, you have all the options in the world. As the king and soulbe say, “Shut the [ __ ] up, paradigm. Holy [ __ ] you’re annoying.” Which I liked that scene cuz I was on the I was on the same page. And I said at some point, I said after watching episode 4, like here’s like what I think is going to happen in DMs. as I said. So, they’re clearly setting Sin up to be like the king of gears, but he’s obviously not super into it and also a [ __ ] [ __ ] So, I don’t think he’s going to have a lot of fun doing that. And that’s just not his kind of character or his like the burden of responsibility. So, I’m assuming Una, who has like dragon wings in other scenes is and just like the red eyes that Dizzy has, is very obviously a [ __ ] gear. And let’s be honest, she’s probably a command type gear cuz she’s Oh, also in episode four, it gets revealed that she’s from the future. And I’m like, okay, she’s got red eyes. She’s got that blue thing in her hair. Like I I’m like, okay, so she’s probably just like some like alternate universe reality version of Justice or some future [ __ ] like like like bloodline descendant of Justice. So, she’s obviously also going to be a commander type gear. So when Sin’s like, “No, I won’t do it.” Unica whenever she’s like chill is going to be like, “Oh, I’ll do it.” And she’ll do something good or like whatever. It’ll just like fall in her hands and then eventually they’ll both like kind of be about it, which is why hence [ __ ] dual rulers, right, is why it’s called that. Next episode, episode five. Holy [ __ ] This is when you realize Dais and like everyone who worked on Guilty Gear had nothing to do with this [ __ ] the first 5 minutes of this episode, uh, I didn’t even talk about him. There’s a character who who is Mr. Evil, very bad. He shows up and he’s like, “I’m a politician who thinks we should kill all gears.” And Kai goes, “If this is my wedding, I don’t like, you know, my wife’s a gear, right?” And he’s like, “Yep. And if it were up to me, she’d be [ __ ] hung and killed.” And he goes, “All right, [ __ ] Okay. So, like and that’s the first interaction you have with Mr. Evil very bad man and you just go, “Okay, that’s Mr. Evil very bad man and he’s got the evil mustache and a huge [ __ ] evil nose and chin and just it’s like just imagine like a cartoon villain. Who’s the bad guy in [ __ ] go- go gadget [ __ ] whatever. It’s probably that guy.” It was just like imagine a cartoon villain that that’s him. That’s Mr. Evil Batman. And then he like does some [ __ ] and like uh whatever. He shows up a couple times and he’s like I think genocide’s fine. And people go, “All right, that’s fine. You’re a fair and normal politician who does nothing wrong and we can’t really do anything about you even though we know you’re doing something bad and you’re advocating genocide, but you know, you have political power behind you for some reason.” In episode 5, he he he goes on his [ __ ] like Also, in the other episodes, I just I remember this. There’s like a like Unica’s like talking to a secret like I said like the the villains are Unika evil very bad and distorted voice on the radio which by the way is just Mr. Evil very bad man that that never gets like a big reveal or anything. It’s just like it’s literally just [ __ ] weird. I don’t I don’t know what this like Unica like talks to a distorted voice on the radio calls him father and and is like I’ll kill everyone for you dad. don’t worry. And then in episode 5, she’s just like, “Hey, Dad. Sorry I was late.” And it’s talking to evil Batman. And it’s just like, I guess that’s who the distorted voice was. I That’s the big reveal. Anyway, five minutes explaining this guy’s backstory in the in the f in episode 5. And it’s literally just I want to kill people because they’re bad. And I don’t just want to kill the gears. I want to kill the people who are strong enough to kill the gears because they’re strong and they’re bad and I want to kill people cuz I want to be the coolest guy in the world and I want to rule the world and I’m going to take control of the world and kill everyone. So, I’m making a virus that attacks gear cells and kills them. So, he’s like, “All right, I’ve made the virus now with like no previous information cuz they were doing like terror attacks and about to [ __ ] nukeia.” But he was actually working on a virus this whole time, guys. Um, I guess. And Udica comes back after hanging out with Bridget and he was like, “You’re late.” And she was like, “Are Do we really have to nuke Yria? I kind of I like I’m kind of having second thoughts.” And he’s like, “What? Oh, no.” Like, “No, what are you talking about? We don’t have to do that at all.” And she goes, “What? Really? Wait, seriously?” And he goes, “Yeah, I just made this virus because I got plans from me from the future. Me from the future gave me the recipe to make this virus.” And um al and so the reason Unica comes back was because Mr. Evil Batman in in timeline A made the virus, infected a bunch of gears, and they all went berserk instead of dying. Okay, that didn’t work. I’m going to send the recipe to the virus and Una back in time to myself to try and fix it this time. Remember that, by the way. Just remember that. So, he sends Unica and the recipe to the virus back in time. And this is when that’s revealed, by the way. This wasn’t revealed earlier earlier. So, Unica’s like, “Here’s the recipe to the virus that I know you’re going to use. Um, and I’m also here to like do things, I guess.” And then she’s like, “What? You made a [ __ ] virus with the recipe of the virus that I gave you. What? That’s crazy. Whatever. And then every character shows up to their evil lab at the same time he just finished making the virus, I guess. Um, he’s like, “I just I just finished it. It’s time. I He’s like hugging this giant vat in the middle of the room. I just finished the virus.” He says, “It’s finally time. I finally made it right this time.” And then Yunig is like, “All right.” And then everybody shows up and they fight a bit and then they like [ __ ] he he gets like a gun. He gets like a needle gun and he like puts a vial and a needle in it and aims at Sin as he’s fighting with Una. And then he shoots and then Soul Bad Guy like grabs him, breaks his hand and says, “Yeah, I don’t know what the [ __ ] you’re trying to do, but that’s not going to happen.” And you see the needle hit the tree. And then Jacko’s like, “That must be the virus. All right, we got him.” And then Sin starts screaming because he’s affected by the virus. And it’s like, what? And the guy’s like, “That wasn’t the virus. That was just the accelerator for the virus. I actually injected him with a virus three episodes ago. The virus that I just announced to myself alone in my laboratory that I finished for the first time. I don’t know why I said that to myself, but I did. Uh, gotcha. I was actually and and also like and also like I uh well we’ll circle back uh and then [ __ ] soul bad guy was like well what the [ __ ] is why are what how what the hell and then the virus doesn’t actually kill gears. it like he’s he he affects sin with it to have the power of the command gear and he just the virus makes sin say all right every gear kill yourself cuz that that’s what the virus does I guess I don’t know um and then unica is like oh no I’m killing myself what and uh Mr. Evil very bad man goes, “Yes, Unikica, my fake real daughter. I don’t know yet. You are a gear and you know, like you’re cool and all, but I just die.” And then Unika’s like, “No.” And she’s really sad. And this is how it’s like, “Oh, Unica’s like terrorism is okay because her dad was super evil or whatever.” Um, and then Unica like like is like, “Wait a minute. I remembered Bridget’s ass. I want to live. And then she starts living and the guy goes, “What the fuck?” And then soul bad guy go or like Jacko or whoever goes like, “Oh, she’s also a command type gear because she’s” And then Soul Bad Guy is like, “Oh yeah, I remember. I [ __ ] analyzed her blood an episode ago and she’s like Sin’s younger sister who’s probably justice. So she’s a command type gear. So So Sin saying, “All right, everybody die.” And Utica saying, “All right, everybody live.” So all of the gears go berserk again. All right. And then Soul’s like, “All right, well [ __ ] how do we stop it?” And the Mr. evil, very bad man is like, “I don’t know, but me from the future has the answer to all of your questions.” And then him from the future on Q shows up and is just like, “Hey guys, I’m the bad guy from the future. Is that me? Hold on. Let me kill myself real quick.” And he eats him. He eats him. And everyone’s like, “Oh, that was [ __ ] weird.” And the guy’s like, “Yes, you can see my master plan.” So, in my timeline, I [ __ ] up the virus because I made all of the gears go berserk instead of dying. So, there was a second crusade. So, I sent back unica and this recipe back in time and uh it failed because all of the gears went berserk again. So now I’m showing up because I don’t know what to do now on Q when the plan is already [ __ ] failed. I get also I’m a gear now because I don’t know and everyone’s just like looking at him like okay [ __ ] like soul bad guys is just like looking at his watch like is this guy still [ __ ] talking? Like what the [ __ ] does any of that mean? That does not happen, by the way. Um, they’re all like shocked or whatever. And then like Sin’s like, I’m going to be evil now cuz I’m going to control all of the gears. And then you see like Testament. This was our You see like Testament and like a bear and a dragon all die. And then you see them like be normal. And then go Berserk cuz Unico started acting up and soul bad guys like I’m just fine even though I’m a gear. But obviously he’s fine cuz he’s, you know, the guilty gear. Why is he the guilty gear? Oh, because he didn’t listen to Justice’s commands because he had something that Oscar gave him called the flame of corruption. Wait a minute. It’s like established that he doesn’t have that anymore. So, like, uh, I don’t know. That’s a lot of research for the [ __ ] writers to remember that, oh yeah, Soul Bad Guy would actually be susceptible to this now because he doesn’t have the [ __ ] McGuffin that made him immune to it in the first place. Whatever. I don’t know. Who cares? Oh, well it’s because like you know he’s like a guy who has gear cells, but it showed Testament who’s also a just a [ __ ] person who has gear cells. So it’s like, oh, it also affects Testament, so it should very similar to Soul Bad Guy all things considered. So it should [ __ ] affect him, but it doesn’t. I don’t know. And it’s like it’s just [ __ ] crazy cuz it’s like, okay, one, that’s ridiculous. I don’t think they know their own lore. To the guy who was timetraveling on [ __ ] Q [ __ ] up his plan two separate ways in the exact same failed outcome. And then says, “Fuck it. I’ll go back in time myself to the point where it was already [ __ ] up.” And he’s like, “I am here now and I’m evil.” And Udica’s like, “Oh no, I’m like I’m a terrorist, but my dad’s really evil and I don’t know if he’s actually my dad and he’s killing me and he’s going to kill all of the gears and also all of the people and also do a bunch of so she’s going to be like fine.” Like it’s not her fault she pipe bomb the civilian houses cuz her dad was mean. Like what is happening? What are these characters? What the [ __ ] is the plotline? Like what are we talking about? I don’t get it. It’s It’s asinine. It’s ridiculous. I’m probably missing things that are like annoying as well. There’s probably things that I’m like not remembering right now that’s also just like ridiculously annoying and convoluted. But it just the episode five just like is like in like the only reason I watch it was because episode four it was like here’s how UniCa turns into a good guy naked Bridgette. I’m like that can’t be real. And it was real. And then episode 5 somehow makes it worse. And it’s just this ridiculous [ __ ] mess of like of time travel of like fake outs of not remembering how the [ __ ] like lore of the characters and the world building works of just mischaracterizing everybody and not knowing anything. Like like how like what’s the limitation on the time travel? Why does he not just do a thousand different things with his seemingly limitless [ __ ] time travel? Why is he showing up on Q? Why is What? How did his plan [ __ ] up twice? How was that not accounted for? Did Did he Did he in the future know that Unika was a command gear and would [ __ ] it up? Or clearly [ __ ] not? Cuz he goes, “Oh, wow. You seriously [ __ ] this up even though I sent Unica to help you. I didn’t realize you were so useless.” It’s like a surprise to him that it didn’t work. And then and then and then he kills him cuz he’s useless. But it’s him. It’s Mr. Evil, very bad man who’s doing that. And it and soul bad guys just chill, I guess. And then Sin’s like, “I’m going to be evil.” So Una can be like, “Well, I’m going to be good now.” And you’ve been telling me to be good this whole time, Sin, so now I’m going to tell you to be good. And Sin will be like, “You’re right, Unika. I can overcome this virus because I don’t know. Um or whatever. And it’ll like do some [ __ ] like that. And then there will be like another big like reveal with like I the guy will be like I am actually all of the in my timeline. I ate every single gear and I’m as strong as all of them exponentially. And I am so strong that I killed Assuka and Happy Chaos and the Superino from the Strive story because that’s how strong and I ate all of them and I have all of their powers and Una and Sin are going to be like we need to use all of our powers to make all of the gears fight you or some [ __ ] I [ __ ] that’s probably how it’s going to go. I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. That that’s that’s just about as [ __ ] banol of a thing I could think of. So, it’s probably how it’s going to be. But like, it’s just it’s it’s genuinely ridiculous. I cannot comprehend for the life of me who wrote this [ __ ] Who actually wrote this [ __ ] Anyway, I think we’re going to go ahead and do the big blind one

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